i hope this is it for you... for all of you.

i hate to say this, but im not wishing, nor hoping, you come running back.

just let this be it.

We regret to inform you that Full Cup is cancelled tonight, since there are no classes.

Pero punta kayo next week, our last Friday for this sem. I think it'll be an acoustic night.

We hope everyone's safe from the storm.

See you next week, Oct. 6.

God bless everyone!

Dearest Ryan and Bryan, 

I look forward to performing my responsibilities as your tita when you're both old enough. I'll read you Adarna books; bring you to Museong Pambata; buy you Jollibee's Chickenjoy (we'll bring Tito John with us for this one); have you ride horses in Tagaytay; bring you to the nicest kids' center i have yet to discover, so you'll know how exciting it is to play with mud, and sand, and clay, and paint; il bring you to a music workshop where you can learn how to play not just the guitar, or the drums, but also the kulintang and dabakan; and of course, il bring you to a zoo, because sadly enough, i haven't been to one...

For now, il give you hugs and kisses, and offer prayers to God for both your health.

Never will i forget the agony I felt when you, Bryan, were confined on that bed for months. I can never forget for you are God's answer when i asked for a miracle.  

I love you both, dearly.

Tita Kaligay

are still stained with paint after painting the walls of sixninety this afternoon. I like the shade of green that we used - reminds me of pistachio ice cream, buko pandan, cotton candy and mint. Yum. I'm excited to set the place up. Kaya kahit na ako lang ang nagpintura sa mga ladies, okay lang. Our associate pastor tried to talk me out of it: "Kali, pahinga ka na lang. Di kami makapagtanggal ng shirt e." I said: "Okay lang po, pipikit na lang ako." 

After the work, balik sa church building to chicka with the ladies. My kumare can't help but tease me about the weight that I've gained. I'll try my best to lessen the food, really, and be consistent with the crunches, then hopefully badminton. Di na nga ako nag-extra rice kaninang lunch e! A friend said they're already married. It happened this way: she asked how to have a civil wedding one Sunday, then the next day they got married. Galing no?

Then I sat down with the younger ladies. My age actually. I'm just used to hanging out with the older ones that's why they seem younger and I feel older. Hehe.

One of them said, "Tuloy na sila." Puzzled, I replied, "Ang alin? Aaaaahhhhh... okay."

Then it dawned on me... teka lang. Why such move? Again, apparently.

Right then and there I wanted to understand. Is this because of the vision (their vision is different from our vision), or the format (people would like to do something they think would be effective for their own)? Or is this of mere uncomfortability because we are taking a new, maybe even radical move, that they feel they don't want to involve themselves in this ministry anymore, for fear of whatever it might turn into in the future, because it somehow involves money? I don't even want to ask about unity, the "doing their part and our part" thing, termed as "tulungan." I guess it hasn't even been recognized, if not long gone.

But maybe that's where I'm coming from after all. What happened to that? What happened to recognizing the part that the ministry has played in helping the students know and experience worship? It seems suddenly it's gone. I remember we used to do it together - you bring them in, we help them. We never really did it alone anyway because all of us shared in the vision to see these students be passionate about the God that we know. But as it is defined now, we don't need to be in the same room or in the same place to share in this vision. Still, I long for you to be there. But I guess that won't be possible in the long run, because people might need to choose again, like what already happened.

And it will hurt. The same way it hurt the first time.

i will be in the alumni reunion of my one and only org in UP. no, im not that old.

im looking forward to it, really.

good food is first on the list. but of course!

people you haven't seen in a while... those you have been very close to, those whom you look up to, coz they are your kuyas and ates mostly. but other than that... hehe. those whom you've enjoyed joking around with (and about... hihi)...

and there are the questions...

what are you doing now? musta thesis? kelan kayo? so what happened to us?

im not looking forward to any of those.