are still stained with paint after painting the walls of sixninety this afternoon. I like the shade of green that we used - reminds me of pistachio ice cream, buko pandan, cotton candy and mint. Yum. I'm excited to set the place up. Kaya kahit na ako lang ang nagpintura sa mga ladies, okay lang. Our associate pastor tried to talk me out of it: "Kali, pahinga ka na lang. Di kami makapagtanggal ng shirt e." I said: "Okay lang po, pipikit na lang ako." 

After the work, balik sa church building to chicka with the ladies. My kumare can't help but tease me about the weight that I've gained. I'll try my best to lessen the food, really, and be consistent with the crunches, then hopefully badminton. Di na nga ako nag-extra rice kaninang lunch e! A friend said they're already married. It happened this way: she asked how to have a civil wedding one Sunday, then the next day they got married. Galing no?

Then I sat down with the younger ladies. My age actually. I'm just used to hanging out with the older ones that's why they seem younger and I feel older. Hehe.

One of them said, "Tuloy na sila." Puzzled, I replied, "Ang alin? Aaaaahhhhh... okay."

Then it dawned on me... teka lang. Why such move? Again, apparently.

Right then and there I wanted to understand. Is this because of the vision (their vision is different from our vision), or the format (people would like to do something they think would be effective for their own)? Or is this of mere uncomfortability because we are taking a new, maybe even radical move, that they feel they don't want to involve themselves in this ministry anymore, for fear of whatever it might turn into in the future, because it somehow involves money? I don't even want to ask about unity, the "doing their part and our part" thing, termed as "tulungan." I guess it hasn't even been recognized, if not long gone.

But maybe that's where I'm coming from after all. What happened to that? What happened to recognizing the part that the ministry has played in helping the students know and experience worship? It seems suddenly it's gone. I remember we used to do it together - you bring them in, we help them. We never really did it alone anyway because all of us shared in the vision to see these students be passionate about the God that we know. But as it is defined now, we don't need to be in the same room or in the same place to share in this vision. Still, I long for you to be there. But I guess that won't be possible in the long run, because people might need to choose again, like what already happened.

And it will hurt. The same way it hurt the first time.